Sat. Jun 10th, 2023

Love is a universal language, but only some speak it the same way. Every individual has a unique way of feeling loved and expressing love. This is where the concept of love languages comes in. Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor and author of the book “The Five Love Languages” developed the theory of love languages. According to Chapman, there are 5 love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts.

Understanding how to speak someone’s love language & how to know your partner’s love language and speak it can go a long way in strengthening your relationship.

Tips on how to speak someone’s love language:

Words of Affirmation:

People whose love language is words of affirmation feel loved when they are praised, complimented or encouraged. They thrive on verbal expressions of love and appreciation.

To speak the love language of words of affirmation, make an effort to adore your partner regularly. Use words like “I love you,” “You’re amazing,” “I’m proud of you,” and “You look great today.” Remember also to express appreciation for the little things they do for you.

Quality Time:

Quality time is the most important aspect of a relationship for some people. They feel loved when their partner gives them undivided attention, listens to them, and engages in fun activities with them.

To speak the love language of quality time, schedule regular date nights, or plan adventures together. Put away your phones and other distractions and focus solely on your partner. Listen attentively and show genuine interest in what they have to say.

Acts of Service:

Does your partner feel valued when you do things for them that make their life easier? His love language is surely the act of service. You can make your spouse the happiest person” by doing little things. It could be something as simple as making them breakfast in bed or doing the laundry.

To speak the love language of acts of service, be attentive to your partner’s needs, and try to anticipate how you can help them. Offer to run errands for them, cook them dinner, or take care of their chores. Small gestures of kindness can go a long way in making them feel cherished.

Physical Touch:

Physical touch is a powerful way to express love and affection. People whose love language is physical touch feel loved when they receive hugs, kisses, and other forms of physical affection.

To speak the love language of physical touch, be affectionate with your partner. Hold hands, hug, kiss, cuddle, and engage in all kinds of physical touch that your partner enjoys and you feel comfortable. A simple touch can communicate love and intimacy in a way that words cannot. Yes, it can be corny for a few, but they enjoy their dearest’s warmth.

Receiving Gifts:

If your partner falls in love with you head over heels whenever they receive thoughtful and meaningful gifts, their love language is receiving gifts. Remember, it’s not about the price or size of the gift but the thought and effort that goes into it.

To speak the love language of receiving gifts, take the time to understand your partner’s interests and preferences. Surprise them with a musing yet practical gift that shows you know them well. It could be as straightforward as a handwritten note or a favorite snack.

How to know your partner’s love language

To know your partner’s love language, you can try the following:

Observe how they express love

People often express love in the way they want to receive it. Notice how your partner expresses love towards you and others. For example, if they often compliment you and others, their love language may be words of affirmation.

Ask them directly

The best way to know someone’s love language is to ask them. You can ask your partner which actions or behaviors make them most loved and appreciated.

Pay attention to what they request.

If your partner often asks for quality time or physical touch, these may be their primary love languages.

Take the love language quiz together.

Online quizzes can help you identify your and your partner’s love language. You can take the quiz together and compare your results to better understand each other’s needs.

Remember, understanding your partner’s love language is just the first step. The next step is to show their love in a meaningful way. It’s important to remember that everyone is unique, and their love language may evolve, so continue to communicate and check in with your partner to ensure your relationship is strong and healthy.

How to make your partner comfortable speaking your love language?

Making your partner comfortable to speak their love language requires creating a safe and supportive environment where they feel heard, valued, and accepted.

Understand your partner’s love language:

Take some time to learn about your partner’s love language by asking them directly, observing their behavior, and reading about the different love languages.

Speak their love language:

Once you know your partner’s language, try to speak it regularly. For example, if their love language is “words of affirmation,” make sure to give them sincere compliments and praise them for their efforts.

Be patient:

Your partner may not be used to expressing their love language, so be patient and don’t expect them to change overnight.

Validate their feelings:

When your partner opens up to you, validate their feelings and show that you appreciate their efforts to communicate with you.

Create a safe space:

Encourage your partner to express romantic thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. Let them know that you are there to listen and support them.

Practice active listening:

When your partner speaks, give them your full attention and listen actively. Ask clarifying questions and repeat what you heard to ensure you understand their message correctly.

Lead by example:

Model the behavior that you want to see from your partner. Speak your love language and encourage them to reciprocate.


Remember that every person expresses and receives love differently, so it’s important to be open, communicative, and accepting of your partner’s unique love language. You can build a strong and loving relationship based on mutual understanding and appreciation with time and effort.

How to speak someone’s love language is about understanding their needs and trying to meet them. It requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to learn. Knowing your partner’s love language can deepen your connection and create a more fulfilling relationship. Remember, love is not just about words but also actions that show your partner you care.

By encstd

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